Inquisited.com

So a lot has happened over the course of the past few months. Events that transpired included (but were by no means limited to): insomnia, heartbreak, insomnia, taking the GRE immediately after insomnia, getting drunk, and writing a song. Yes, in that order. Believe it or not, there actually is a name for the malady that I was afflicted with: oneitis.

Oneitis is something that happens when you meet someone you’re hopelessly attracted to. Somehow, you are certain that said person is “the one” (hence the origin of the term) and would do virtually anything to win him or her over. The subject of your affections becomes the focal point of your life: you lose your wit in front of her, you get jittery when she doesn’t reply to your messages, you feel compelled to check her facebook profile several times a day, ambiguous statements are taken as massive hints of her desire to be with you and so on. Because this is a one-way energy transfer, oneitis is both emotionally and mentally draining. Needless to say, it sucks.

In my case, I couldn’t let her (lets just call her Layla) go for the longest time in spite of some rather glaring personality flaws. It didn’t matter, so long as she liked me I was willing to adapt and compromise. Some might call it unrequited love. Others, stupidity. There’s a thin line always. I can’t say exactly what it was that ultimately cured me of oneitis. There isn’t a definitive incident where I can point to with certainty and say “that’s what made me stop liking her”, but there were a series of events - inconsiderate decisions (understatement) on her part - that made me feel like shit. That was the dealbreaker.

Oneitis isn’t something that can be rationalized. You can have 5 buddies patting you on the shoulder over a jug of beer telling you how she isn’t worth it but it won’t do any good. You have to feel it.

And that’s the best advice I can give to people suffering from oneitis. You have to convince yourself emotionally that you’re better off without that person. Get out of the house and meet other human beings. Specifically, members of the opposite sex. Because after you met enough wonderful people you start wondering what was so special about that one unrequited love in the first place. A serious conversation with your oneitis goes a long way, too. Sometimes, “lets just be friends” won’t cut it. Because as long as there’s still a glimmer of hope there’s always the chance that your festering chronic oneitis will become a full-blown infection again. People generally don’t want to feel that they are “bad” because they rejected you, so you’ll just have to do the dirty work yourself. Let it go because its not going to happen.

Be a man. Do the right thing.

As for me, I’ve suffered from months of oneitis with nothing to show for it. Well, actually that isn’t true. I do have my cheesy oneitis/Layla-inspired love song. At least that’s one in the bank for the band to perform.

P.S. Now that I think about it, “So long, Layla” doesn’t sound like a bad title for a new song. Make that 2 originals.